Cases of femicide in Kenya have been on a tremendous rise. Over the past month or so, many of our young women have gone missing and turned up dead, or their lifeless bodies have been discovered mutilated. Nairobi has become a hotbed for the perpetuation of these activities as most of these cases have been documented there. What’s going on? What is happening?
In some of the cases that have managed to hit the headlines, the perpetrators will initiate contact with their victims and then lure them to meet them at an Air BnB. Upon falling for this trap, the victim is at the mercy of the perpetrator. At best, the night might end with a casual hookup and both parties going their separate ways. At worst, the victim (most likely the woman) will be forced to indulge in non-consensual behaviour. For example, she may be drugged, kidnapped, forced to film a sexual encounter, raped, or extorted off her money. At the absolute worst, she may end up dead.
In even more unfortunate circumstances, her remains may be dismantled and decimated much like the recent case involving the late Rita Waeni.
The choice of Air BnB is a very informed tactic. Firstly, these are not just any AirBnBs, they are carefully selected to be within less-income neighbourhoods. Many of these Air BnB owners will do little in terms of due diligence to ensure the authenticity and security of their tenants. This ensures that there is less chance of the renter giving away as much information about them as possible, making them hard to find during their gateway.
As I write this piece, the main suspect behind the murder of Rita remains at large given that he rented the Air BnB in which he committed the crime using a fake ID. Given that he is a non-national of the country, tracking him is proving to be an extremely uphill task for the authorities.
The choice of the victim is also well-calculated. The perpetrators will either target their victim’s vulnerabilities by luring them to win their trust or they will shower them with money and other giftings to get them on board. it is thus unsurprising that many of these victims happen to be campus girls or young women in their 20s and 30s who may not have a stable source of income. However, no woman is safe. In most cases involving rape, the victim is either coerced or forcibly taken advantage of. Once the deed is done, the perpetrator might resort to killing the woman to ‘permanently silence’ her or to ‘get rid of the evidence’.
Kenyans have reacted to these cases in a variety of ways. The vast majority have expressed their contriteness, condemning the nature of these crimes. However, I have taken issue with quite a number who seem to express extremely heavy-handed opinions, most of which have no anchorage in reality. Firstly, there is the crop of men, high on their ‘red-pill’ doctrine of ‘asserting their dominance over women’ who have been justifying the nature of these crimes. ‘Men are just naturally physical’, ‘Violence is the language of man’, or ‘How else are men supposed to assert dominance?’ are some of the arguments I have been coming across on social media.
To this my response is resolute. A violent man is an insecure man. Women are not donkeys that have to be ‘whipped’ to ‘stay in line’. They are of the human species as much as men are. Our brains are of the same matter; the only differences we demonstrate between each other are in the realm of sexual dimorphism. Women respond to affection and not physicality. It is up to us men to love our women and they will love and respect us back. That is why the nature of any interaction between a man and a woman must always be consensual. Period.
Furthermore, I have come across an interesting crop of people who like to ‘generalize the outcome’. Unfortunately, this represents a sizeable chunk of the internet audience; people who will jump to conclusions first and make assessments later. Here are some of the sentiments surrounding this that I have come across on social media.
‘Young women of this generation are naturally promiscuous and they love men with money. Why then should we worry for them when they go and get killed?’
‘If I am showering a woman with money, I have the right to do anything I want with her.’
‘All women want is money. All men want is sex.’
‘Men are responsible for everything wrong with our society today’
Here at Superficially Exaggerated, I always encourage my readers to do their due diligence. Making an uninformed conclusion is as egregious as telling a blatant lie. It always pays to dig deeper to unearth the truth of the matter.
Back to the issue at hand. Societal issues such as this one are deep and complex and cannot be summarized into simple statements. Every situation is complex and unique from the other. Say we decided to blame the so-called ‘promiscuity of women’ on their ‘love for money’. Every woman is different, in terms of social-economic situation; some women will have money but still choose to be promiscuous for other reasons.
Factors such as a person’s upbringing and their immediate environment have a bearing on their character and life choices. Therefore, it is unfair and dull-witted to bundle complex and unique situations for everyone into simple premonitions. It pays to take time and find out the facts before making any conclusions.
At the end of the day, blaming the victim does not undo the crime. The deed has already happened and we cannot back in time to undo it. Apprehending and bringing the criminal to book will offer retribution to those affected. However, the best thing we can do is to take stock of whatever happened, find out why it happened, what we can learn from it, and what can be done to prevent it from happening again. To do so, we need to put all our biases aside and come to the table of reason.
Each person must accept that they are responsible for ensuring that this does not happen again. Once we’ve found out what is the cause of these acts of femicide, we must all examine our nature to find out how our actions may lead to the reoccurrence of the crime.
To the men, we all have a part to play. One cannot distance themselves from this by saying that they are ‘good men’ who can never ‘perform such an act on a woman’. Men have a right to protect women from such harm. Since you cannot engage in such an act, you must bear responsibility for calling out those who do and if possible, making sure that they bear responsibility for their actions. We must also commit to building institutions that protect and rehabilitate our women, ensuring that they are free to be expressive of who they are.
To the women. Our world will never be a perfect living environment for everyone. In as much as the majority of men you will interact with mean no harm, you have to be aware that there will always be outliers. Nobody cares for you more than you care for yourself. It pays to have situational awareness, especially with the people you are dealing with. Remember that many of the men with anterior motives will take advantage of vulnerabilities to get to you. So, be aware of what makes you vulnerable and be watchful that no one takes advantage of it.
For example, do not give yourself up to a man you hardly know as then you will be at his mercy. Be as free as you can be by all means, do not let fear and uncertainty dictate your life, but always have a third eye open to anyone looking to take advantage of you.
Femicide and every other form of Gender-Based Violence is evil and it deserves to be called out for what it is. No woman deserves to die because a perverted man wishes to fulfil his vile desires through her. Many women continue to suffer in silence, being victims of such despicable acts, sometimes just managing to escape with their lives. For every case that hits the headlines, another ten go unreported. These women are our sisters, cousins, friends, and the future mothers of this nation. What happens to the future of our society if they die off or have to live traumatized lives?
Also, for Heaven’s sake, STOP KILLING OUR WOMEN!!
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